Memento Mori
Was it worth it?
I am haunted by the idea of time passing by unused. The idea that I could look back on a period of my life and remember nothing significant about it terrifies me.
I know a self-made millionaire who was homeless at one point in his life. I saw a guy finish BUD/S Hell Week with a broken leg. Many of the most successful businesses in America started with less than 10,000 dollars in capital. Nike was once nothing more than some guy selling shoes out of the back of his car. Yvon Chouinard, the founder of Patagonia, lived in an empty incinerator for several months.
While traveling overseas, I met numerous people who sold successful businesses or walked away from lucrative jobs and everything else they owned in order to leave behind a life that had all the accoutrements but just didn't make them happy. They started anew in places like Kenya, New Zealand and Costa Rica and wake up every day to a fulfilling life.
I had the privilege of getting to know a man who once owned a successful small business in Colombia but knew that his future there was eventually limited. Along with a friend, he decided to go to the United States. By walking. Along the way, he was robbed of everything he owned and left to die with nothing but his underwear in the desert in Southern Mexico. His friend was cut in half by a freight train. When he finally made his way to the states, he got caught. When the Border Patrol guy asked him why he was sitting quietly in his cell and not making a ruckus like everyone else, he replied that it was all only a game.
"You won this time, my friend. Maybe next time, I win."
Several months later he had made his way back. This time he won. He worked odd jobs in the states until he could teach himself English and join the military. He is now a legal citizen and a highly respected member of an elite American Special Operations Force.
The point is that it doesn't matter where you start or how hard you get hit along the way. The only limitations we put on our lives are self-imposed. If you fail, perhaps it was chance, bad luck, or a group of bandidos in the Mexican desert, but whether or not you get back up and keep going is entirely up to you. Any failure is temporary as long as your heart is beating. Ultimately, your happiness and success in life are entirely in your hands.
Everyone has their little story. People like to say things like "Well, you don't know what I've been through…"
You know what? It doesn't matter.
Why is it so rare to hear "You know what I'm willing to go through to get what I want?"
Every breath you freely draw is another chance to write a chapter in the book of your life. Whatever hardship you've faced, I promise you that someone out there has been through something worse and made it to where they wanted to be anyway.
I know where I want to be in life. I know that the only thing that can keep me from getting there is my own weakness. My own timidity, hesitation or complacency.
I know that the time will pass whether I make use of it or not.
Since I was about eighteen years old I have been maintaining a tally on this piece of paper. It's 52 blocks wide and 80 blocks tall. On the top left corner is my birthdate, and on the bottom right is the same date, 80 years later. Every week I mark off a block.
I don't write anything or make any kind of notes. I just black it out. The only thing left is the memories I have of that week and reality of how it has affected my life. In the end, the only things any of us have are our actions and our memories.
Doing this keeps my life in perspective. Each time I fill in a block I briefly consider what I did with that week. Sometimes I do so with a feeling of satisfaction. I want mine to be a life well lived. Other times I look back and realize that I frittered away most of my time on things that didn't really further my life, didn't make for any remarkable experiences, and didn't really make me happy.
I don't think that it would be possible to maintain a list like this and work in a cubicle for twenty years. Or even twenty months. Imagine that: 80 blocks filled in with no memories other than a gray wall and the occasional lunch at Applebees.
In fact, most people probably wouldn't want to do something like this at all. It would be too uncomfortable. Self awareness is a pain in the ass when there are so many entertaining reality shows on cable. And excuses are easy. You probably get used to the blinders after a while and eventually don't even know what you're missing.
This weekend I filled in the 25th row on my sheet. The last block in a row always leads me to do some self-assessing. Am I happy with what I've been doing with my life? Have I been wasting time? Why? Where could I be right now if I hadn't? What will I do to make sure that one year or five years from when I fill in the last block on another row I can look back with nothing but satisfaction and happiness? Do I know exactly where I want to be at that point?
Look back on your life. The past week, the past year, whatever. How would you answer these questions? More importantly, how do you want to answer them in the future, and what are you going to do about that?
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Comments for This Entry
Well said Craig. You only have to take a look at the abs on the Olympic sprinters and gymnasts. You can bet that none of them has done a single crunch in the last decade. They built their midsections with high intensity training and a good diet, nothing more.
Posted on 03:21PM on August 18, 2008 [permalink]
So, finish, how do we get rid of the extra love in the mid section? Women have this problem even when we do the right things so help me, what do we do Master?
Posted on 10:42AM on August 27, 2008 [permalink]
Ok, let me clear something up, I was not talking about the problem the woman in the picture has, that is hitting obese. But, I have this little guy I just can not get rid of, any suggestions?
Posted on 10:56AM on August 27, 2008 [permalink]
The report "Why Situps Suck" covers all that in pretty good detail, and you can get it for free by signing up for the newsletter in the top right-hand corner. If you hit any snags after that or have any questions you can email me and I'll be happy to help you out.
Posted on 01:15PM on August 27, 2008 [permalink]
Dude-
You said it man, there really is no substitution for hard work and dedication... something that the obese among us are lacking. That isn't necessarily their fault though. They just haven't been properly educated as to what they need to work hard on and be dedicated to. Go forth Craig, and educate the masses...
Posted on 07:03PM on September 16, 2008 [permalink]
But Craig, There is no icing on that cupcake!
Posted on 04:27PM on September 18, 2008 [permalink]
Timely article Craig. I've become very aware lately of the various black holes in my life that suck away my precious time, and for the most part these black holes are of my own making. Am trying to set and stick to allocated time periods for email, writing, exercising, so that I have more time to spend with Taz, friends and family.
Keep the inspiration coming mate!
Posted on 01:39PM on September 23, 2008 [permalink]
An idea I got from Nate Green that works well for me is to work in productive bursts. Focus on getting done one or two things that really matter, and then actively relax with something enjoyable. Kind of like the interval spring version of working. It's much more effective to work that way than multi-tasking and staying busy and worried with a bunch of little things that ultimately don't matter.
Tim Ferris has said that he doesn't feel that a person is capable of more than two to four (I don't remember the exact numbers) hours of actual productive, intellectually demanding work in a given day. I've come across studies that confirm this by analyzing the daily activities of office workers that find them actually producing about an hour or even less per day of actual productive work. The rest is just filler.
Posted on 05:01PM on September 23, 2008 [permalink]
Now that's some good writing and wisdom, Craig.
Don't you have a spreadsheet with an "X" marking off all the days you've spent so far?
Can you enlighten me? I'd like to do this.
-Nate
Posted on 09:16AM on September 24, 2008 [permalink]
Nate,
I have a paper that I've been carrying around for years with a graph; eighty blocks tall and 52 blocks wide. The top left corner is marked with my birth date and the bottom right corner is marked with the same date, eighty years later. Every Tuesday I fill in a block.
It really keeps life in perspective.
Craig
Posted on 10:09AM on September 24, 2008 [permalink]
Craig,
Does your "block" include the week's activities or just the day's? Please elaborate...
Posted on 02:21PM on September 24, 2008 [permalink]
I don't write anything in. Each block is small; about a millimeter high and two wide. I just black each one out completely with ink. I'll do a blog post specifically about it in a week or two and include a picture.
Posted on 03:37PM on September 24, 2008 [permalink]
A truly good idea Craig. What do the words at the top and bottom of the paper mean?
Posted on 08:03PM on October 15, 2008 [permalink]
Memento Mori means either "Remember that you will die" or "Remember that you are mortal" depending on how it's translated.
Vulnerant Omnes, Ultima Necat means "They all wound, the last kills." It's something they used to put on clocks, referring to the hours of one's life.
Posted on 08:43PM on October 15, 2008 [permalink]
Craig, were you propelled to start doing this because you felt that you were wasting time, or were you just trying to prevent languishing in the future?
I ran into an old T-Nation post of yours where you said:
"On my right hand I have the words "This Too Shall Pass" tattooed across my fingers."
Can you explain the significance of this tattoo?
Posted on 10:48AM on October 16, 2008 [permalink]
When reading this, it got me to think about how I perceive my life, especially my role as a mother. I am a stay-at-home mom with two girls, 3 and 1. It is so easy to lose yourself and to tell you the truth I have these past few years. You question your place, not only in your family, but in society. It is so easy to lose your self-confidence and as you said you start to put the blinders on.
Oddly enough I have been reading Craig's articles in the paper and had thought to myself for three weeks, how do I meet this man and fill my brain with his knowledge? Wouldn't you know it, a friend called me the next day and said I had to come try this workout. I was looking for any excuse but I knew I was ready to change, not only for myself, but for my husband and kids. I show up and there is Craig. At that moment, I told myself this is yet. Now or never. I need to discover my potential and commit no matter how hard or embarrassing this challenge will be.
For me with a young family, it is one step at a time. Am I happy where I am in my life right now? Yes. I have made a commitment to myself and everyday I get to watch my girls discover the world. All in one week I got to witness my youngest start to walk, use a spoon successfully and use the potty! I might not be able to travel to exotic locations, but I believe one person who helps another can create a chain reaction that will effect one's life in ways beyond comprehension. Craig, his staff and the women in the class are helping me rediscover life, my body and my potential. In turn, this will allow me to be a better mom and wife. Thank you-
Posted on 12:55PM on October 16, 2008 [permalink]
Michael,
It wasn't so much that I felt I was substantially wasting time at that moment, but as a way of remaining conscious of the possibility thereof. The paper is a sort of metacognitive exercise to keep myself aware of what I am doing with my life. I'd much rather be uncomfortable than complacent. We're all prone to periods of weakness, laziness or whatever you want to call it, and I want to be able to objectively evaluate myself to identify and eliminate those times. It keeps me motivated, self aware and moving forward in life.
The tattoo thing is a fairly complex concept. I'll probably cover it in depth in a future post.
Mariah,
1. Thank You.
2. Marshall and I were actually discussing this yesterday; you show a sort of potential that few people actually have which he and I have become very experienced in recognizing. He's got a blog post coming up soon that covers that concept. You're doing great in training and in a few months you're going to look back on where you started as a distant memory and the progress you'll have made will seem unreal.
Posted on 01:45PM on October 16, 2008 [permalink]
"The tattoo thing is a fairly complex concept. I'll probably cover it in depth in a future post."
Well, I look forward to it. I loved your story on the new t-nation article. "Fish, Senior Chief!" I shout across the pool. "Fish!" I was laughing my ass off.
Posted on 04:52PM on October 16, 2008 [permalink]
Craig,
Very thought provoking post. I read this right after I had read the Killing Time post. I guess those who have a way with words like you bring to life the thoughts, actions, or emotions many feel but don't know how to express in words or writing. So thanks for that! Many people who find out my mom pasted away while I was in high school say, "OH, I'm so sorry." I don't think a day has gone by that I feel sorry about it or want someone else to feel sorry for me. I feel sad at times knowing I don't have her to share in a goal I've reached or silly things like, "Do I use baking soda or powder?" ! Life is full of challenges, but I agree that I would rather live a life full of challenges than to sit and watch it go by not working toward my full potential.
Mariah- Good for you! I know at times my mother seemed discouraged with herself, her body and how she felt. We used to go for long walks with her so she could get some exercise out in the country! But I will say at the end of her life she was so happy for all the times she was there to see us take our first steps, go to school, or make a basket in a championship game. I'll never be able to fully thank her for being there for us! But, I can hope some day to do the same if I have kids. So once again, good for you! Keep up the good work!
Posted on 09:53PM on October 29, 2008 [permalink]
You're probably referring to the one titled 'You Will Have Your Waterloo,' which references a mentor of mine who gave that advice in a speech.
Also, if you flip to some of the older blogs there is one titled "Human Potential."
Posted on 07:27PM on November 20, 2008 [permalink]
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