Are you really?
People like to say that they are killing time.
"Oh, I'm at the mall, you know… Just killing time."
It doesn't work that way. Time kills you.
There are 28,251 days in the average human lifespan. What you do with them is up to you, but when the clock strikes midnight on that final day you no longer have any input. All you can do is look back on what you've done and the story you've written with your actions.
There are some people in this world that cut their days short on purpose. They don't want to play anymore and end their own lives. Maybe ten thousand days and then… suicide. All done.
But you would never do such a thing, right? You can tell yourself this, in your comfortable chair, reading some guys blog while you're supposed to be taking care of that spreadsheet for the boss. You're going to get all twenty-eight thousand days. Heck, with medical technology, you could probably get thirty or more!
Now look back on what you've been doing with your days. How many hours of television did you watch last week? Ever think about counting it? Kind of an uncomfortable thought, huh? What about that time you spend each day commuting to work; sitting in that same seat, driving the same route, cursing at the same intersections? All that time you spend preoccupied while you’re with your kids, friends or maybe that one person that you’ve chosen to love. Does that time spent with them really matter when all you’re really focused on is worrying about your mortgage?
Consider the path you’re on and total up the days again. How many of them were really lived well?
What is the difference between you and the girl who writes a goodbye letter to her cats and jumps off the Coronado Bridge? Sure, she cut her days short all at once, but have you ever considered the possibility that you’re doing the same thing, just one day or a few hours at a time, over the course of a lifespan?
Get up and do something. Achieve that thing that scares you, or at least fail while daring greatly. Love someone completely, take that trip that you’ve been putting off since your freshman year of college and actually say what you think for once. At the end of the day, when you step in the shower and watch the mud, blood and sweat wash down the drain, you’ll know that you can go to sleep with another day in the victory column.